Why do you swim?
by Levi Ackerman
Summary: "Haru-chan?" Again. There was a slight waver in Makoto's voice. Barely there, but enough for Haru to notice, and enough to fortify his belief that something was wrong. "You - you've been acting weird, today," Haru said in a small voice, trailing off. Haru confronts Makoto after their 200 m freestyle race. [spoiler alert: set after Free! eternal summer episode 6] [makoharu]


_Disclaimer: I don't own Free! _

_A/N: I had to write a short ficlet to express my feels after Free! Eternal Summer Episode 6. Here is how I think Episode 7 should/would go [MakoHaru]_

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**Why do you swim?**

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Makoto was strangely silent on the train ride back to Iwatobi, staring out of the window and barely partaking in the raucous festivities that Nagisa, Rei and Gou were engaged in. All four of them had qualified in their individual races - it was worthy of celebration. Haru was more sullen than usual, his expression dark as he sat besides Makoto, not uttering a word, his blue eyes flicking over to the stony-faced brunet besides him.

Even on the walk back, Makoto - usually quite the chatterbox - was silent. Haru couldn't stand it. Haru wasn't particularly talkative himself, and even though he didn't always respond (verbally; besides, what was the need for words when Makoto could read his mind) to Makoto's flow of conversation, he had grown accustomed to hearing his friend's husky baritone. The silence made him feel uncomfortable. It was wrong.

A hundred questions were at the tip of Haru's tongue - _why did you want to race me all of a sudden, why were you crying, are you happy now, what do you want from me, why do you seem so upset, what can I do to make it better_ - but he didn't know for the life of him where to begin. Makoto had always been able to read him like a book, and Haru could usually read Makoto too; Makoto was quite transparent that way, his eyes and expressions revealing all of his emotions. But today… today Makoto's expression was closed, guarded. Haru couldn't for the life of him figure out what Makoto was thinking about, how Makoto was feeling.

They reached the steps of Haru's house, and Makoto turned to leave.

"Goodnight, Haru-chan!" he called cheerfully. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight," Haru murmured, starting up the steps, a chill running through his spine at Makoto's greeting.

He didn't understand why, until he was halfway up the steps, and it hit him. Makoto had sounded cheerful, and he had smiled, but his eyes hadn't crinkled the way they usually did when he smiled. It hadn't been genuine, Makoto was _hiding_ something and - "Makoto!"

Makoto froze, turning around. Haru's voice had sounded unusually desperate. "Haru? What's wrong?"

"I - " Haru broke off, staring at the ground.

"Haru-chan?"

Again. There was a slight waver in Makoto's voice. Barely there, but enough for Haru to notice, and enough to fortify his belief that something was wrong.

"You - you've been acting weird, today," Haru said in a small voice, trailing off.

"Have I?" Makoto scratched his head and gave Haru and apologetic smile. "I guess I've just been stressed about the events! It's my last year as captain after all. Sorry if I worried you!"

He turned to go again, but this time Haru ran down the steps, catching his wrist. "Wait!"

Makoto spun around, green eyes widening. "Haru?!"

"Don't lie to me," Haru said in a low voice, trembling slightly. "You've been hiding something. You're upset."

"I - I'm really sorry to worry you, I'll be fine by tomorrow so don't worry."

"Stop trying to hide it and keep everything bottled up in you!" Haru snapped, though his eyes were glistening. "You're only making me feel worse! Did I… did I do something?"

Makoto stared at Haru, stunned. Haru was looking up at him out of beseeching blue eyes, looking more distraught than Makoto had ever seen him.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Haru," Makoto said immediately, his stony expression softening. "It's not your fault at all, I - I'm just being stupid."

"Tell me," Haru insisted, tugging on his wrist. "I need to know."

Makoto stared at him, hesitating. "I -"

"Makoto." Haru took a step closer, his piercing gaze not leaving Makoto's. "Please."

"I was jealous," Makoto blurted out, and with those words, his mask cracked.

Haru stared at him, eyes widening. _"__Why?_ Of _whom?_"

Makoto's face crumpled, his eyes shining with unshed tears. His voice was trembling as he spoke. "It's stupid and selfish of me, but I was jealous of Rin. I was jealous of the competition you had with him. Not because I dislike him or anything - not at all, Rin is great - but I was jealous that he was actually good enough to swim with you. I wanted to be able to race you, and I practiced, but it turns out, I'm not even fair competition for you like Rin is, I can't race you like Rin can, I'm not good enough - "

His words hit Haru like a tidal wave, but what was worse - what felt like a knife through Haru's heart - was the fact that Makoto was _crying_. Tears were streaming down his face - and Haru had thought that Makoto had cried after the race, but he couldn't be sure because he could have just mistaken the rivulets of water for tears - but this time, it was clear, and it made Haru's heart crack.

"Stop," Haru said roughly, cutting Makoto off mid-sentence. He reached out, fingers quivering but hesitated. Makoto hung his head, shoulders shaking as his body was wracked by sobs.

"Makoto, stop crying," Haru said, voice gentler this time. "Please."

He swiped his thumb across Makoto's cheek, feeling the warm droplets melt onto his skin. Makoto didn't look up.

"Makoto, look at me," Haru said softly. Slowly, Makoto raised his head, and Haru felt another stab of physical pain at the hurt that welled within Makoto's green eyes. He almost regretted making Makoto look up in the first place.

_Don't look at me like that. You shouldn't have to be so sad._

Still, Makoto had been honest about his feelings. The least Haru could do for him was be honest about his own.

"Don't - " Haru clenched his fist, his voice cracking. "Don't _ever_ say that you're not - that you're not good enough - to swim with me."

"…"

"Don't ever feel that you're not - fast enough - or any crap like that. Free isn't your speciality, it's mine, and I still had to push myself to beat you. I don't swim backstroke but I know that if I tried I'd never be even half as good as you."

"Haru…"

"I'll be honest, I didn't want to compete with you in that race. I would have probably swam a little slower - just towards the end - if you hadn't asked me to compete with you."

"Why not?"

Haru averted his eyes. "It's not like I don't enjoy swimming with you. It's just - it's fine when it's Rin, or even Sousuke, or anyone else. Even if Rei or Nagisa asked me to race them I would be fine. But when it's Makoto…"

"Haru?" Makoto prodded gently.

"We're not supposed to be competing one another!" Haru burst out. "It's wrong! We've always done everything together, since we were kids! I don't want - I don't want to swim _against_ you, Makoto! I want to swim _with_ you!"

Makoto stared at Haru, his mouth slightly open, and Haru continued, despite the heat in his cheeks.

"Rin may be my rival and my biggest competition but you… you're different… and you don't have to be jealous of Rin because…"

"Because?" Makoto's voice was almost a whisper. A flush blossomed across Haru's face.

"The only reason I joined the swim club as kids was for you, you know," Haru murmured. "The only reason I agreed to swim the first relay, and then the second, was because it seemed like something you really wanted. I know I gave up swimming because I hurt Rin - but I - you know when I asked you why you swim? And you said you swim for your friends, but you would swim just once to beat me… it's never been like that for me…"

"Why do you swim, Haru?" Makoto asked quietly.

Haru's blush deepened. "I swim to be free… and… I - I swim for you, Makoto."

"H-Haru!" Makoto sounded overjoyed, and the sheer happiness in his tone made Haru's heart lighten instantaneously. It was genuine this time, and he looked up, his heart leaping, because Makoto was _smiling_. Not the strained, faked smile from before, but a genuine smile radiating warmth and happiness.

And then Makoto's arms were around him. Haru froze - a warm, rushing feeling had bubbled up inside of him and was coursing through his entire body - and he stood there for a few moments, relishing the feeling of Makoto's strong, muscled arms embracing him. And then slowly, Haru raised his own arms, wrapping them around Makoto's toned back, and buried his face in Makoto's neck.

"Haru-chan!" Makoto cried, and Haru squeezed his eyes shut, savoring the moment as Makoto - his warmth, his scent - enveloped him, taking over his senses. "I - I'm sorry! I'm sorry for saying and worrying about such stupid, trivial things!"

"You're an idiot," Haru mumbled into Makoto's neck. "Don't say sorry. If you felt like this all along, you should have said something sooner. Idiot."

"Sorry - "

"Stop apologizing. I - I enjoyed swimming in adjoining lanes with you."

"Really?!"

"Yeah…"

Makoto was silent after that, and the embrace lasted for a few more seconds, before Makoto pulled away - far too quickly, according to Haru - and raked a hand through his hair, smiling cheerfully.

Haru noticed that his cheeks were also flushed pink.

_Interesting._

"Ha-Haru-chan?" Makoto's voice was soft, gentle and filled with wonder, and suddenly, his finger was swiping across Haru's cheek.

"Wh-what? And - drop the chan." Haru struggled to keep his voice calm, his heart pounding rapidly at Makoto's touch.

Only once Makoto withdrew his hand and Haru saw the droplet of water resting on Makoto's index finger did he realize that he had been crying as well.

It was all too much to take. Makoto was gazing at him with such a tender expression - and it was like the previous year's tournament all over again, it was too much, and Haru needed to leave, he needed space from Makoto before he did something incredibly impulsive and stupid - "You - you should get rest," Haru said quickly, his voice choking out. "Relay - tomorrow - yeah. See you."

"Huh?!" Makoto cried, but Haru raced up the stairs, heart hammering and stomach fluttering.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Makoto called after him, and Haru gave him a quick wave in response, not looking back.

—

Makoto flew out of the covers, reaching frantically for the buzzing phone, flipping it open without even checking the name.

"Haru?!"

"…wow, I'm kind of insulted," a voice drawled, sounding annoyed but not entirely antagonistic.

"Rin?!" Makoto cried. "I'm so sorry!"

"Don't you look at the caller ID before answering?" Rin muttered.

"Heh. My bad."

"Anyways…" there was a long pause, before Rin cleared his throat. "Nagisa said something earlier. It was probably him being stupid…"

He trailed off, and Makoto's heart sank. He probably shouldn't have mentioned the jealousy thing to Nagisa. The last person he wanted knowing about that was Rin.

"I - I was just being silly," Makoto mumbled into the phone. "Forget it."

"Silly?" Rin laughed softly. "You were being plain idiotic, Makoto."

"…sorry."

"You should be." Makoto could practically hear Rin's scowl on the phone. "If anything, I should be the jealous one."

"Huh?!" Makoto had not been expecting _that_.

"I - I am actually." Rin's voice softened. "I'm jealous of you. And Haru too. I'm jealous of you both. I have been since we were kids."

"…why?"

"You two are such good friends. You have something that… well something rare, something special. I guess I - a part of me has always been jealous of that bond you two share. You can read Haru without him needing to say anything, and Haru takes up most of your attention. It's not like that with me and him, or with me and you. With Haru, I'm just his rival, and with you… I guess we're friends, but it's not the same."

"It's nothing like that at all Rin!" Makoto cried. "Haru and I - we both wanted more than anything for you to be a part of us again, for us to all be friends like before! I thought you knew that, after we swam last year's relay together! Haru thought so too!"

"I guess that's true." Rin chuckled. "Still doesn't stop me from feeling jealous once in awhile, of both of you."

"We're both such idiots," Makoto said, laughing softly as he fell back down onto his pillows. "Getting jealous for no reason."

"Yeah well…" Rin's tone suddenly grew threatening. "Makoto if you tell Haru we ever had this conversation I will kill you."

"I won't, I won't," Makoto said, smiling. "Good luck for the relay tomorrow."

"Tch, like we need luck," Rin scoffed. "I'll show you the power of Samezuka's relay team, Makoto! You have my word, captain to captain!"

"I can't wait."

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**- The End -**

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_(the end for now… hee hee…)_

_My apologies, I literally rushed through that in ten minutes to get all of the feels out so please excuse any errors._

_I think I'll continue this and make it a mini-series maybe, posting one after each episode! Should I? _

_I also though having some Makoto/Rin friendship was needed, so I added that phone convo at the end. Hope you enjoyed this! Please drop a word and let me know what you think._

_See you next water time! =D_


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